What is The deVinery Method?

It is a paradigm-shifting model of erotic intelligence based on the root mechanics of desire itself. 

Developed by, and the intellectual property of, Artemisia de Vine.

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A clear model of why we have sexual fantasies, what they mean and what we can do with them.

For better sex, better relationships, and the skeleton key for understanding human desire itself.

This isn’t just about bedroom breakthroughs. Once you understand how desire is structured, the applications ripple out across tech, therapy, and culture at large. That same architecture becomes the blueprint for AI, for community design, for reshaping what sex education even means. 

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The below overview of The deVinery Method is not enough to demonstrate the grammar of desire that becomes apparent in deeper explorations, but it is enough to reveal the key points of difference from all previous attempts to work out how sexual fantasies work. 

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Finally, the answer to why we have sexual fantasies and what they mean!

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Sexual fantasies may be make-believe, but the effect they have on our bodies, minds and feelings is very real. They are the mental part of what turns us on, and they take us somewhere important by changing our state of consciousness.

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Sexual fantasies are consciousness tech.

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They are concentrated stories that have the perfect ingredients to change us from: 

Normal everyday state of consciousness to aroused. 

They can take us from aroused to flow state.  

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Sometimes they can take us to sub-space, top space or even full-blown Oneness states where we feel a profound connection with All That Is. 

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All sexual fantasies are centred on the three paradoxes inherent to desire. They are permission slips created by and for our own psyche so we can follow our own undiluted desire impulses.

Why? So we can move past our ego’s resistance to letting go in the moment.

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But here’s the really clever part.

These same paradoxes become the very triggers that expand our consciousness into new erotic states.

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What was blocking us, opens the doors for us. Paradox is already well established as mind-bending and as a tool that can change our state of consciousness. I show exactly how that works using the specifics in each person’s sexual fantasies. 

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They help us lose ourSELVES (ego) and shift us from "I" to "We". That is that two-becoming-one feeling where we sync in flow state. 

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And sometimes they shift us beyond that until we experience Oneness with Life itself, not unlike what happens in psychedelics, meditation, and zen practices. These are the same kinds of Oneness states that people have reported for millennia, and are now well documented in scientific literature. Whether or not you consider this a spiritual experience, it is undeniably life-changing and profound. 

Understanding how sexual fantasies create the perfect conditions to affect us in this way means that we can learn to recreate the same effect in our real-world sex at will.

Whether we just want to feel more connected with our partners, and feel more sexual pleasure, or we want the full spiritual consciousness journey, The deVinery Method shows you exactly how our built-in mechanism works. 

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There are two main kinds of approaches.

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1. Sexual fantasies either confront us with the friction of two impossible choices to excite us.

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Example: I want to keep my dignity as a strong, independent person, but I also want to drop to my knees and obey my lover so I can surrender control.

2. Or they create the illusion that the paradox has disappeared and slip us past our ego guards like a seductive lullaby. 

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Example: Everyone just magically wants the exact kind of sex that I want. But don’t be fooled, the paradox has not disappeared! It is still the invisible engine creating the friction of excitement.

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Ask yourself, does this fantasy melt my ego like butter? Or use exciting tension until my ego explodes into fireworks? 

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Either way, sexual fantasies give us permission to be 100% self-focused so we can follow our own inner desire compass where we need to go. 

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The 3 paradoxes are Universal

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All sexual fantasies follow these same three paradoxes, which is why we see universal themes re-emerging. The paradoxes themselves are pre-culture, and pre-childhood experiences and therefore apply to everyone.​​​​​​​​​​​​​

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This shows clearly and consistently that fantasies aren’t wounds to be healed. When you lift the hood and see the engine at work, even the most taboo fantasies suddenly make sense and are surprisingly wholesome. They protect us and create the right conditions for the vulnerability of intimacy. They exist for everyone. They are a non-negotiable part of our turn-ons, whether we are aware of having fantasies or not.

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Our Personal Map of Turn-ons

​However, each person has a unique relationship to these 3 paradoxes based on their personality, life experiences, and culture.

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This part is important. Sexual fantasies are not created by our personality, life experiences (including traumas) or culture. They are expressed through the costume of our personality, life experiences and culture. 

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That means that even if your childhood hadn't been like X, Y, Z, you would still be experiencing the same kinds of taboo tensions in your sexual fantasies. They'd just expressed by different symbols from your life.

On a practical level, this is huge. We could not effectively map each person's unique erotic wiring until we realised they were all variations of the 3 core paradoxes. ​

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The deVinery Method is a paradigm shift, not only because it de-shames and explains, but because until now, we could not be precise.

Now, we can map the underlying ingredients that make up each person's arousal pattern and rearrange them into an infinite number of scenarios that will consistently arouse and satisfy.

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This allows variety and consistency.

We can track the: 

“Poisons”: What that person specifically fears about following their own desire. 

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And the

“Antidotes”: The thing that makes it ok and neutralises that fear. 

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Poison + Antidote = Personal Paradox

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That is, the exact trigger needed for each individual to become both aroused and surrender to the moment. It is the friction that changes our state of consciousness. 

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For example, I am considerate and care that my lover is having a great time, but while I am focusing on their desires, I cannot focus on my own desires.

So the sexual fantasy might include: 

Poison = The fear of being selfish, if I follow my own desire. 

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Antidote = The other person is fulfilled by doing what I like. 

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This might look like: “They are using me for their own pleasure, so their needs are already met, and I do not have to take care of them. Yet while 'using' me, they are still magically doing all the things I want them to do, exactly how I like it.”  

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This creates permission to be selfish without threatening my identity as a considerate person because I am no longer afraid that being self-focused will harm my lover. 

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Want to understand more? Watch this 60 min video where I walk Dr Dawn Dalili through how sexual fantasies work.

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What can we do if we can map each person’s specific erotic pattern?

For the first time, we have the source code for precise and profound sexual satisfaction. I have developed methods for using this to:

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Uncover what we didn't know we wanted from our sexual partners. Which means we can now actually ask for it! 

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Find out exactly what our partner wants in sex even when they do not know themselves. And activate it without having to resort to faking it, role play, compromise or mind-reading. 

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Keep the spark alive in long-term relationships, for real! Because the answer was inside us all along, not in them.

The deVinery Method shows you how to co-create date nights that have both endless variety using the same underlying ingredients each person needs. Imagine a life where sex doesn’t fade after the honeymoon period, but just keeps unfolding in deeper, more profound ways. Growing and discovering each other for as long as you both want to be together. 

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Train AI companions, therapy apps and sex tech to track and harness each person’s unique erotic wiring. 

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And help users uncover their own map, and communicate it effectively to their real-world partners on dating apps and relationship advice apps in ways everyone can hear, get and act on. 

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Get to the root of the questions sexology keeps circling but can’t resolve. 

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Move beyond simply relying on consent models and tick box forms to create BDSM and kink scenes, to activating and satisfying the real psychological triggers beneath the surface. 

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De-shame our true erotic expressions and bring them into mainstream acceptance in a way that both the left and the right can get into bed with. 

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Redirect academic research into powerful new breakthroughs.

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Opening up billion-dollar industries in the process. 

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And this is just the beginning! 

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Once you go deeper into The deVinery Method, you start to see something else emerge. A kind of universal grammar of desire. One that has implications for consciousness studies, human potential, culture shaping and even the way we evolve AI. 

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How The deVinery Method was born

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The deVinery Method was forged by me, Artemisia de Vine. I’m a philosopher of consciousness and desire architect, but before that, I spent over a decade in the adult industry as a professional dominatrix and sex worker. I put my anthropology major to work through an unofficial 12-year ethnography inside the adult industry. I didn’t sit behind a one-way mirror or analyse surveys or neurological scans in a lab. I became the bespoke sexual fantasy of thousands of people. 

My clients dubbed my immersive themed venue The deVinery, not only as a play on my name, but because it was a place of profound erotic self-discovery. They came for the smut and found themselves "divining the erotic" and uncovering so much more than the expected.

It was a place designed to awaken, map, and satisfy the unique erotic wiring of each individual. The method was born there, honed in real-time, person by person, paradox by paradox. It’s not named after some abstract concept. It’s named after the place where it actually worked.

It has now been successfully taught to sexologists, psychotherapists, academics, religious and cultural leaders, sex workers, sex educators, feminists, sexual trauma, somatic and embodiment experts, curious couples and more. 

This method is teachable, scalable, and gives consistent, powerful results.

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If I have just given you the source code, why do you still need me? 

It’s tempting to think you’ve got it from this page. But unless the architecture lives in you, you’ll end up with the shell, not the spell.

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The concepts are powerful, but there is more to this theory and the results come from the method. I’ve spent 30 years living, breathing and refining every nuance of this. If you try to reconstruct it without the method, it’ll fall flat. Like trying to cook from a perfume label instead of the recipe. 

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Meanwhile, those who’ve licensed the method and trained directly with me will already be launching their offerings and surfing the halo effect of the cultural-level permission slip created by my upcoming book The Spirituality of Smut: The surprising wisdom of sexual fantasies. 

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If you want the original handbag, and not the embarrassing knock-off, let’s talk. 

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